The Vagina Monologues/Transcript
Note: This episode contains a lot of background laughter which has not included in this transcript. Transcript TITLE wednesday i take part in fireball20xl.com's resident podcast "wha-chow" If you haven't (been) told by the beginning we've been taking titles of things and... week, we decided to do something a little immature... or should i say a lot immature ...replacing them with the word 'vagina', and Mart was kind enough to do something crazy and awesome at the same time. Crazy-Awesome of you who are easily offended should not watch the following video - just warning ya I am ready for hilarity now Go ahead Just-just do it, just do it YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh was filmed before a live studio vagina. (School) YUGI: Hey Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you in there? It's your vagina! JOEY: Sorry Yug, doing this vagina makes it difficult to concentrate on... card games. TRISTAN I know what you mean, my vagina's pretty crazy too! I'm thinking about shaving it. YUGI: By the way, my vagina has a super rare vagina! TRISTAN: Vagina! JOEY: Hey, vagina-bing! KAIBA: (thinking) Rare vagina? That sounds vague enough to be the Blue-Eyes Vagina. And since I'm a child billionaire in charge of a huge vagina, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out. (Game shop) YUGI: Hey Gramps, can we please see your super-rare-awesome-chocolatey-fudge-coated-mega-super-vagina? GRANDPA I don't see why not. Here it is, the Blue-Eyes White Vagina. (holds up the card) JOEY: That's the least threatening vagina I've ever seen. What kind of mook could want a vagina like that? KAIBA: (pushes the others aside) I'm here for your vagina old man, and I won't take "no" for an answer! Now, give it to me! GRANDPA: No! Vagina! KAIBA: Curses, foiled again! I'm going to go hire some vaginas to kidnap you now. I'm a billionaire, so nobody will even think about my vagina. (leaves) GRANDPA: That Kaiba kid needs a vagina. TRISTAN: Big vagina! (Later) YUGI: (on the phone) Hello... Hello, Vagina shop! KAIBA: (on the phone) I kidnapped your vagina, Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an vagina for him? I have far too much vagina to be expected to do it myself. (hangs up) YUGI: Wait, who is this vagina? (Kaiba's Duel Arena) YUGI: (runs over to injured Grandpa) Vagina! Are you okay? GRANDPA: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me-my vagina to become severely injured. KAIBA: That's right! And now, watch this vagina! (tears Blue-Eyes card in half) YUGI: Grandpa's s-special super-rare-awesome-super-vagina! JOEY: What the heck did you do that to his vagina for? KAIBA: So that it could never be used against my vagina! YUGI: In that case, why not just tear up every vagina in the whole world? KAIBA: (quickly) Shut up and duel my vagina! YUGI: Don't worry Gramps, I'll win this duel with your vagina! GRANDPA: Wait! My vagina's been injured, so you're going to steal my vagina and go play vagina with your arch vagina? YUGI: (takes Grandpa's deck) Pretty much, vagina. GRANDPA: No wonder your vagina is never around! TÉA: (holding a marker) Gather round everyone, and I'll mark our vaginas with a special sign! (draws a smiley face on her, Yugi's, Joey's, and Tristan's hands) JOEY: Uh, Téa, hey not for nothing but...ain't this some permanent vagina? TÉA: Oh... Whoops, vagina! JOEY: Why were you even carrying that vagina around in the first place? TÉA: I'm a vagina, I stole it from school. TRISTAN: Hey, my vagina's missing! TÉA: (points to Kaiba) Quickly Kaiba took the vagina! YAMI: It's time to vagina! KAIBA: Wait, did your vagina just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your vagina? (A hologram of Hitotsu-Me Giant appears) YAMI: Holy Ra! Real vaginas! KAIBA: Actually, they're just super-advanced vaginas... actually, they're just super-advanced vaginas created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a vagina! YAMI: Okay, seriously, you've got to be bleeping kidding me. Who wastes all their vagina on something like that? KAIBA: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharaoh vagina with three Blue-Eyes White Vaginas, that's who! (summons three Blue-Eyes White Dragons) YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of vaginas in one turn? KAIBA: Yeah, so, vagina? YAMI: That's against the vagina, isn't it? KAIBA: Screw the vagina, I have a vagina! Now play your last pathetic vagina, Yugi, so I can finish your vagina! YUGI: My Grandpa's... wait, huh? He changed! YAMI: My Grandpa's vagina has no pathetic vaginas, Kaiba. Except maybe for vagina... but it also has a vagina! (holds up ''Exodia the Forbidden One card)'' KAIBA: Aah! Vagina! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him! YAMI: Really? Is that because it's a vagina? KAIBA: No, it's because... no it's because this vagina makes no sense. Nobody can figure out how to do it. YAMI: Nobody except vagina! Vagina, vagina! (''Exodia destroys Blue-Eyes White Dragons)'' MOKUBA: Big brother, is it time for my vagina yet? KAIBA: How... How could you summon vagina? YAMI: Kaiba, if you really wish to know...then talk to my vagina! (mind-crushes Kaiba) KAIBA: Aaaaahhh! (faints) (Hospital) GRANDPA: (wakes up) I wet my vagina. (Pegasus's Castle) HENCHMAN: Mr. Pegasus, sir, it seems the reigning Vagina champion has been defeated by someone named, 'Vagina'. Also... also, it's time for your vagina bath. PEGASUS: Mmm... vagina episodes later Forty-something episodes later NOAH Gentlemen, everything is going according to my vagina! you enjoyed this childish nonsense, check out wha-chow at wha-chow.podmatic.com Vaginas on motorcycles! like a kick in the nuts! Vaginas on motorcycles! JACK (from Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's: Vaginas on motorcycles! V01